Stereo Mikroma I

I know you’re not supposed to have a favorite child but I would let all my other kids burn in a schoolbus accident to keep the Stereo Mikroma safe at home in my collections*. This little guy is just the coolest.

From the makers of the Original Mikroma, a “lady sized” (their words, not mine) point and click that took 16mm single perf film, comes this anomaly of the photographic gene pool. With it’s dual fixed lenses, spring loaded timed shutter, and sexy green leatherette inlet, the Stereo Mikroma, as you can imagine by the name, not only took pictures, but played music as well!

(I’m being told that is incorrect. Actually the camera took something called stereoscopic duel images”, basically 3D images. My apologies. )

Regardless, you will hear angels singing when you palm this little stapler in your hand and feel the full potential of Czechoslovakian master craftsmanship. Unfortunately the Optikotechna plant where this beauty was made was hit by a massive flood which destroyed almost all records of this and every other photographic machine they made, making it’s history hard to trace. One thing we do know is that Optikotechna made optics for the Nazi’s during the war, and that the plant is nowhere near a water source. Fun!

Witness the horrors of the World War in stunning 3-D!

My baby comes from 1961 and is therefore is not only relatively guilt free to use but also impossible since no one is around to develop the film and create a stereo-scopic reel.

For the most part …

This wouldn’t be a proper quest if there weren’t tests, allies and enemies (amirite Joe Campbell or what?!). So to use this little guy I had to load 16mm film neg into one of its tinny little rolls, shoot, then develop the film in a film lab in NYC (which was comical because the guy asked “how many feet of film are you developing and I said 1 and he laughed) then I had to cut out the individual frames and repurpose them on another stereoscopic disc that came with the camera, which required a certain amount of patience and adderall to get the job done. I’m going to say now that this has been, by far, the most work I’ve done to see a picture of my green juice in 3D.

Was it worth it?! Of course not. It took hours and the effect was lackluster, mainly because it was black and white film because that’s what I had, sorry and I was getting the jitters from all the adderall I took because I ran out of vodka and the damn liquor store thinks it’s a GREAT idea to be closed on a Sunday after 8 WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE. I have to give it up to Charlie over at The B-Roll for putting together this sweet DYI of how he made a viewfinder that looked way better than mine, in fact, I’m just going to use his images because no one needs to see the car-wreck that is my work.

Despite spending several days and hundreds of dollars on this complete waste of time (I accept donations through my OnlyFans page) I will say that it was mildly interesting for a minute as I was transported back in time to 1961 when home stereoscopic images were cutting edge technology coming out of Czechoslovakia. Then a minute later I put on my Oculus Quest and watched porn so real I felt guilty taking the headset off without saying I’d call.

I mean … what the hell is this? A quadpod? Just because you got two lenses do you really need an extra leg guys? C’mon.

Rs

*For legal reasons I am advised to mention that by “kids” I mean “other camera’s in my collection” and by “burn in a schoolbus accident” I mean “are destroyed or otherwise removed from my ownership”.

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